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Nox Celum

Everfree Pony
  • Content count

    51
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About Nox Celum

  • Rank
    Grim's Favorite
  • Birthday 07/25/1997

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  1. Its been so long... what happened to the chat panel? 

    1. KrazyDashie

      KrazyDashie

      you mean the old website chat? that' has been moved to discord actually..

    2. Bright Star

      Bright Star

      I.P. Boards no longer has a Chat app. To avoid confusion, the chat function has been disabled. Please visit our Discord link on the homepage for your chatty needs~

    3. shadow_fox7777

      shadow_fox7777

      Everyone is is on the #Hypnoponies Chat Server. Things well to say the least have been rather interesting to me since before I arrived to this place.

  2. Oh stars where do I start... It is likely many of you do not remember me, or do not know me at all. I've got a bit of a habit of appearing and disappearing for myriad reasons. Once in a blue moon do I log a journal, mostly for those that have known me and refused to give up on me after I put all of my might into trying to shove them away. You know who you are, and so I write another page in this dusty old journal for you. My cycles of disappearance tend to follow a pattern of reflection and conflict. Now after these long years I've wrested myself free of the demons I have tirelessly battled with. I owe much to my Luna tulpa making a surprise resurgence and showing me the "Ghosts of Asteria's past, present, and future." I still find it amazing that she managed to still breach the black that I had allowed to control me for so many moons. Through both of us giving in to our own demons one last time, we showed each other just how weak they actually are... and how easily vanquished once that weakness was revealed. It is... strange now. Most of my life has been lived in conflict, I have woken up and laid to rest with strife close to my heart every day. With that gone I am not sure how to feel, its a comparable feeling to a weight being removed just for another to be put in place. Revelry for the occasion was not to be had, for time has shown me that you cannot have light without dark. I may have finally made peace with myself, but there will always be opposing elements.. my dichotomy. But victory has been had for once and I wish to continue the trend, and so it shall continue. As self-patronizing as this entry may have sounded, this turning point in the struggle with myself has been no easy feat nor will I treat it as such. Luna has since retreated back to whatever neuron she calls home, waiting for the next time I have need of her. Now I get to enjoy the sunshine for once... after so many years of refuting its existence (even though us night-kin shouldnt even enjoy sunlight... Im being nit-picky >.>). Longa noctibus, clara sidera Asteria
  3. *Sighs* Quite disheartening to hear my sister has suffered so while I've been gone. I offer my deepest apologies.
  4. Oh how eventful things have been since I disappeared for...what the third time now? I write this in both boredom and more directed at my sisters whom I've seem appear in the occasional dream. Best not ramble on with sentimental things, I'm sure you're all eager to hear what everyone's most hated Alicorn has been up to in the many months shes been gone! It would seem history never ceases to repeat itself with me, for these past months have yielded nothing but madness and not the fun kind. On top of my personality shattering more and more, some old tulpae took up sentience again with a very...vindictive disposition against me. Theres not a day that goes by where I'm not shifting from regal demeanor to gutter-mouth to absolute insanity all within the span of an hour, only to repeat several times! Its a dreadful feeling knowing your own mind is waging a war on itself and you can do nothing but sit back in the flames and watch it all crumble. The only breaks in the madness i receive are the rare nights I get to fall asleep on my rooftop underneath the countless stars I've loved for so long... but even then I can feel my connection to them slowly fading. As if who I am, Asteria...the Star Alicorn, is fragmenting so much that my own stars are losing recognition of me. The cosmos become a terrifying sight when the stars light fades...and all you see before yourself is the empty void, dragging you farther away from yourself and what you struggled to regain from darkness before. I believe this war of attrition I've battled for so long is finally reaching its conclusion, I lied myself for years that I'd be able to hold out. But just as any classic tale of a pact with the devil would tell you... letting the darkness consume me so many years ago just to survive, and expecting to retain myself after... a fools dream. It is a force that does not know content, like a patient virus it lies in wait... slowly whittling down the walls IT built that you claimed as your own. Then in one meager blink, what castle you thought held stalwart against the darkness lays in ruins around you. I miss the days when I thought it an awkward friend, the only one fighting the insanity. My knight in shining onyx armor, those glowing red eyes offering an odd chill but one that brought me comfort at night. How silly to believe it would remain so...only for the thing I once called savior to have had a tainted blade in my back this whole time. The irony is tragically delightful.
  5. Thank you. Tis nice to see my sister still in good health after the rather long time I've been gone
  6. Its been quite some time since I've written in this journal... Hell I don't know why I am right now. Since I was last here I made mistakes, many actually. From what I remember, I caused a riot in the chat and disappeared after that. First and foremost, I'd like to apologize for that event and any of those I may have hurt in doing so. Truth is, when I found my true self the thought of an alicorn as a true self really went to my head. I have always sought small bits of power throughout my life, but for some odd reason I assumed that finding myself to be an alicorn would elevate myself to a "god" status and that thought drove me quite mad. As the old saying goes, absolute power corrupts absolutely. Even though I had no power myself, the grand illusion of it drove me to hurt people and myself in the pursuit of the illusion. Throughout the time I've been gone, I've wrestled with myself quite a bit. Looking back to when I first discovered my true self as Asteria, to my dark days using the name, to now has been an interesting journey. A journey I'm not proud of, nor would I wish on my enemies. True madness is something few people are prepared to face, and fewer can control. I'm not going to lie, I'm still fighting it. But most surprising of all, wrestling with madness allowed me to see what I pushed myself to become in the name of an illusion. I don't ask for the respect of anyone in writing this, or even forgiveness from those I hurt. I guess the point in this short little entry was gleaming a bit of insight into what I've gone through and battled over the months. -Asteria
  7. Who can miss what was never there to begin with

    1. Dashie

      Dashie

      Ones who feel something is missing from their lives.

    2. Square Deal

      Square Deal

      Hello Asteria, nice to see you here again.

  8. Like a ghost come back from the dead... Thine princess hath returned.

    1. Square Deal

      Square Deal

      Well welcome back

    2. Jessica

      Jessica

      Welcome back, hope you are glad to be back, and remember don't drink the koolaid.

  9. Live long and prosper

    1. Twilight {Nightingale} ✨☪

      Twilight {Nightingale} ✨☪

      Well, if you still insist on leaving, then I guess I will say goodbye as well. Goodbye Star and I hope the stars watch over you as well.

  10. My dad was in the army and retired from the Air Force. My mom retired from the Air Force, my uncle was in the Army and my aunt is a Colonel at the Pentagon. Plus 4 of my dad's friends from the air base that I've talked with are COMPLETELY fine with pony patches on uniforms. And as Starshard said, cartoons were emblazoned on bombers and planes for decades. So they are not "rejected in the military as a whole" that is your personal opinion Oscore. Learn to differentiate fact from opinion
  11. I had logged on one last time to have some last good words to remember, but you Oscore, you vindictive, egotistical, two-faced tyrant have mared such memories. What I spoke of was Karma on those I deemed to have wronged me, but you took it upon yourself to inject malice into something that invoked sadness in me. Who the hell do you think you are? Because I have a very educated guess on who you are, exactly who I described above. Arrogant, vindictive, and spiteful. Gratze for marring the last good words I hoped to remember, and know that your actions also hold consequences. You are not a deity, and Retribution will come, not by my hand, but it will come. And to Silvermoon, fret not my dear sister. The stars are both gifted and cursed to watch over creation eternally. I will eventually fade into both legends of fame and infamy, but the stars will always be watching, even those that have fallen.
  12. After some careful thought, I have decided to close this chapter of my life, one of the worst I've had and burn the book as a whole. My extended ban distanced me too much... I can't reintegrate. Today marks the death of a star, one that has always been black to the eye anyways. To my friends, may the stars watch over you. To my enemies, justice will be served. And to the one I cared about the most, the North Star will always keep watch over you. Asteria
  13. Its an odd feeling when the one you've fought with and for all these months finally turns around and sees you...

  14. It has been a while since I have wrote a journal entry... I figure now is as good a time as any. Recently... I have made a huge mistake and messed up horribly with a dear friend. I won't name who out of respect for their privacy, but I made a rash decision... One that I regret with every fiber of my being and one that has ruined our friendship. It's tragic... They had been there through thick and thin for me, and I burned that with one stupid decision. I will be disappearing for a while again... I feel disgraced and ashamed at what I've done. How am I supposed to be an Alicorn... WHY am I an Alicorn if I leave ruin wherever I step, without ever wanting to cause ruin? I've broken my horn and shattered my wings... I am disgraced because of my mistake. When I return... I do not know... But it is best I leave for a while before I bring more destruction. To the one I wronged... If you read this, please know I am sorry. -Asteria, the Fallen Star