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      Notice for Anyone Using Dolphin Browser   12/13/2016

      I've discovered there's a particular bug that occurs when using Dolphin Browser here that autofills your username and password... into a thread's title and tag fields when you create or edit one. I advise anyone using Dolphin Browser at the moment to discontinue using it here until either Dolphin fixes their autofill so it doesn't do that, or until IP.Board releases an update that reverses what causes that to happen.
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The Sweetest Belle

8 - Whisky Tango Foxtrot

1 post in this topic

What am I doing here?
     No, I don't mean that in the sense I don't know my purpose around these parts, but quite literally; what the hell am I even doing? Without headphones I can't do files, my imposition work consists mainly of imposing roleplays, and tulpamancy is just playing games now. So...what am I really doing? I'm holding the line, and honestly that frustrates me like nothing else because I don't know what to do to improve, or even if I can. In either case, I still want to.

     Now luckily, things are still going well. My imposition is still growing and my trancing skills, both as a subject and hypnotist are growing exponentially quickly. Pandora, Midnight, and Elise have all been active, and I've pinged Arcturus once or twice to make sure he's not dead. Scratch...I don't know what happened to him. He disappeared, and I'm not totally sure where he went. The Applebloom file is coming along nicely and should be done by June.

    All in all, a good month's work, but I still want to know; where do I go now? What do I do different to become better?
What am I doing here? What should I be doing here?

Vinyl (DJ PON-3) likes this

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    • By sCr3wB@LL
      Wow, it's been a long time since the last entry to this journal, but it is here that I feel I can provide some knowledge of what came from this hypnosis experience.
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      Before I accidentally fell into becoming screwball (which is another long story unto itself) I wasn't really the happiest person. To be honest I wanted acceptance or validation or something. Perhaps that unconsciously motivated me to try the Trixie hypno in the first place. At the time, Rarity (I don't know this person's username now) believed that I was in harmony link with Trixie - that I was unconsciously resonating with her character.
      It wasn't until the fateful day of trying a poorly written hypno script for laughs with others that the iconoclastic Screwball persona was shoehorned into my unconscious by mistake. An 'experiment gone wrong' I would think to myself, and think to myself, and think to myself - solidifying Screwball's persona to me and my understanding of this persona as a mistake, a blow up, an accident, something which burst into the world with no real purpose or real reason, disrupting the order of my fundamentalist mind and replacing it with chaos and uncertainty whether I wanted it or not. I wasn't sure whether this was even a bad experience or a good one, or even a bad persona - no spiritually oriented admin on the site really seemed able to provide a straight answer. Nor could I deliver a straight answer to myself, and nor could the Screwball persona.
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      And then life took its course. I valued my differences. So what if other people disliked me for it? My differences were me, who I was. My teenage life made me so self conscious to an unhealthy point, but my experiences here reversed much of that. Being enlightened to this realization through this experience, I discovered that perhaps I needed to resolve this problem before continuing this hypnopony experience, and so I left hypnoponies for a while - hopefully explaining the large gap in journal entries.
      Screwball being friendless, I stopped relying on validation or acceptance from other people. Screwball didn't need the acceptance of other characters to be happy and neither did I. Rather than value the validation of other people value personal freedom instead and don't worry about those other people. Go footloose.
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    • By The Sweetest Belle
      Journal resurgence II: Electric Boogaloo.

      So, how have I been? I have been well enough, and some new developments arose from my latest works. I began writing files for the community, and with the Scootaloo file finished and an Applebloom file well on its way to completion, I am hoping to become a fixture in the writing scene for this community. I have plans for a plethora of files.

      Aside from that, I have been exercising my mental muscles more and more. My imposition has been coming back in flashes and I am starting to regain the wondrous feelings I had when I was younger. It is nice to feel again, and with every file I write and session I conduct my skills as writer improve while my self hypnotic work has continuously made me a better subject.
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      I can't decide,
           Madame Moon (Sweetie Belle)
    • By Frinkeldoodle
      My last post was my Ciderfest post? Dang, I've been inactive.
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      That's not a question. 
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      You've never seen a mailmare manage a webserver?
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      "...do you want a muffin?"
      I'd love one! ^^
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      As for things outside of hypnosis, life's actually going pretty well, albeit a bit busy. I got my driver's license yesterday, and I got my car last month! I've been having a lot of fun driving around and getting places a lot quicker and a lot easier than I could on a bike. And then, something I'm sure a lot of you are thinking about; as far as the server is concerned, I've been having delays bringing IRC back up because it's a bit... complicated arranging things so that I can safely run IRC on this server. I have to play around with it.
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      Anyways, that's... really all I have to talk about, or at least, want to talk about at the moment I'll probably write more soon~
      - Frinkeldoodle
    • By WispyDaydream[Shade]
      Well, my rant from last time is over. Over the last few days I've been doing finals and whatnot for school. Honestly, they're a joke to me because of how much I've already studied the material when the tests were around.
      Other than that, I did an interview for a paid apprenticeship  yesterday. They accepted me on the spot. They're paying me a stipend of $400 at the end of the summer as well. So um, yay? I'm not exactly thrilled to be going. I mean, it's a nice experience and nice for my transcript but honestly... I want a break >.>. Other than that, meh. Nothing's going on. I guess I've been spending a bit more time with some friends (on the internet), and at last I was brave enough to make a call. *flutteryays* I never realized I was so shy >.>. Either way, yep.
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      --Wispy Daydream and [Shade]
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