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Found 10 results

  1. I need an opinion. Who should I become pinkie pie or rarity? I've been rarity for quite a while now and I'm considering switching. Stay rarity or go pink? Anybody that has pinkie pie experience, what's it like?
  2. Dear Tay and Toothless: I've said it enough times. I know. I'm sorry for consistently bringing it up, never following advice... I'm an awful host and often the cause of disruption. Life is on an up-down wave at the moment, especially when my mind drifts to those all those thoughts. Guilt is a common occurrence. I don't know how you're doing, which worries me. Have you left me? Have you seen my treatment of both of you as so poor or unjustifiably bad and ditched me? I would understand if you have, but I just don't know. Am I tulpadeaf? I don't think I have ever heard a definite response, and I don't know what I would see or even accept as a response. I'm not very good at belief without evidence. But of course, you'd know that... Are you simply not talking to me? Do I even deserve your attention? Personally, I don't think so. I don't know how to treat what might be your responses. I don't know what your responses would even feel like... I feel as if that's the root problem, but I am clueless as to how I'd fix it... I'm a hopeless case and don't deserve to be host to two wonderful tulpae. I honestly love you so dearly, but I don't know how I can show it apart from continuous verbal reassurance. If you're not talking, I don't know how to convince you to give me just one chance... I feel so alone without you. If I just can't hear or feel you with me, I don't know how to cure my deaf receptors. I can't feel your presence, which enforces the loneliness. I hope you believe me, and I hope you believe in me. Either way, it all boils down to "are you even there?" I hope and wish for all sake that you are. I hope you still love me. I hope you can forgive me for my ineptitude and poor treatment of both a soft, lovely and loving eevee and a warm, bouncy and boisterous dragon. I'm sorry. I truly am. I hope to high heaven that I can make it up to you. To both of you. I don't believe that I'm talking to myself with this. I know it's going straight to you. I will make it up to you, whatever I need to do. No matter my personal costs. The companionship, friendship and love will be worth however much time and effort it takes. ~Vaporeon
  3. Hello everypony :), I guess it's been a little while since I last posted . I don't think I've posted for a while as my 'progress' has been a bit more subtle than it was before <3. Instead of noticing major changes in myself and the world around me, I've been becoming increasingly aware of just how wonderful everything is . Before I begin, I'd just like to thank @Sweetie Belle CMC for reminding me that anypony is still reading my entries <3. It truly means so much to know that, even in my absence, what little I've done here still has an impact, however minor it may be <3. Since my last post, a number of things have happened: I've completed my first year of university (Psychology), a lot of skype group drama, realizing who my truest of friends are, spending so much time with these super true friends ^_^, and learning that even I still need help at times <3. To begin, my first year of university has gone so well <3! Goodness, it was so much fun . I made a few really great friends and worked extra hard to do well <3. I'm still waiting for my last mark but, so far, my GPA looks like it will be >3.9 <3. I'm sure a mark like that is just due to the fact that it's only my first year <3. There is much much more to come . It was very difficult to make friends at first as I get so nervous by the thought of being somewhere where I don't know anypony :s <3. I was, however, lucky enough that my friends were the extroverts who actively sought people out ^_^. It seems that most of my friends lately have been extroverts, I have little more to say on that later ^_^. Right now, I'm on a 4 month break from university :). When this break began, I was so relieved! I had been working so hard with exams and final projects/essays that I barely even had any time to eat (let alone for leisure :s). I spent about the first week or so relaxing, playing all of the games I never had time for, reading all of the books I had to put down, and talking to all of the friends who I've missed so much. After the first bit of time, however, I noticed a strange emptiness that filled me with nothing but sadness . All of a sudden I began feeling so isolated and alone, I felt like I had little meaning anymore <3. This has happened to me before, during a winter break, it lasted two weeks then <3. I really wasn't too sure what to do, I wanted to ask a friend for help but I just didn't want to burden anypony with my own problems <3. After about a half hour of crying to myself and feeling sad, I decided to ask one of my closest friends of late for help. It took much longer than it should have but I sent @Ra1nb0wDASH a message on skype detailing my problem and asking for help <3. I was sure to tell her that it's more than ok if she doesn't respond as I'll understand and that it's really probably not all that important anyways <3. She wasn't online when I sent the message but, about a minute after, she had actually came online and responded... That was just so amazing, thinking back to how I felt in that moment <3. I always considered Rainbow to be a wonderful friend but what she did back then, goodness, that's what really cemented for me that she is truly something special :). She spent the rest of the day with me, giving advice, analogies, and helping me find the root of my problem. I've resolved that in the absence of others to help, take care of, or assist in any way, I begin to feel my self worth slip <3. Rainbow pulled me out from a gutter that previously took me 2 weeks to recover from, this is the true power of friendship <3. As a result of Rainbow's help, I began to feel my overwhelming optimism flowing back <3. I was feeling happy again :). Shortly after, one of my other closest friends in the whole world came online on skype ! @TwinkiePinkie <3. Pinkie and I have been friends since right about when I first joined the forum (coincidentally, this was also right around when she first joined) :). She was the one that led me to accept and even embrace myself in my beginnings <3. I spent the rest of my day with these two amazing ponies :). Further, with my desire to help reignited, I came to the forum looking for anypony who seemed to be needing a friend. As chance would have it, there was a pony who needed help, even more, it was help in the very area I'm studying in university <3. I posted a quick status reply to @Gypsy Pinkie's post and immediately began to feel my self worth flowing back :). We're now even friends on skype ^_^! It made me so happy to see that I can still make a difference and, with Rainbow's help, I now realize that I don't need to be constantly making differences <3. Actually, taking a slight step back, I just really wanted to reiterate the analogy Rainbow gave me when explaining why I don't need to be helping somepony at every moment: she said "No flower blooms all year long". That analogy really stuck with me, even nature knows that it is unsustainable to keep up such beauty all year long; we all need to take breaks. Lastly, due to the happiness I felt from Rainbow and Pinkie's help, I sought out one of my good friend's company :). We went to the movie theatre yesterday and we, as well as one of my other close friends, are going to a theme park tomorrow (though this trip had been planned for well over a month) ! I mentioned in the second paragraph that there had been some "skype drama" since my last post <3. This is mostly all resolved now, I think <3, but when it was happening it just felt so... disastrous <3. I'm not going to name the groups as I certainly don't want to tarnish their appearances and they're even still going strong just... not with most of my closer friends . I guess there isn't much to say about them at this point, ponies were being added to the groups very rapidly, too many responsibilities arose, moderation was in question, eventually some ponies in the group developed 'rivalries' of sorts . These conflicts led to the groups shifting entirely <3. I just recently left the two aforementioned groups in favour of a much smaller one that consists only of my closest of friends . I'm really happy now that all of the sadness is over, it's so nice to have a place where everypony is friends <3. Honestly, if anypony has made it this far , I really recommend making a skype group with your closest friends . It is such a rewarding experience :). At the end of the second paragraph, I 'hinted' at the pattern that most of my friends lately seem to be extroverts. I realized a little bit ago as I had become obsessed with personality types all of a sudden :). It was just so fascinating that four little letters could describe somepony so well! I've known for a while that I'm an INFJ and I truly believe that this identifier describes me very well, it's even enabled me to have some wonderful insights on my own behaviour. Again, if anypony is still reading, I really recommend you looking into a website called 16 personalities. At that website you can be assigned your personality type, from there you can read all about it using their helpful (and free) articles! There truly are some wondrous insights to be had by reading about personality types . This is what led me to look into my friend Rainbow's personality type. Her behaviour really fascinated me, it's so different from my own yet it yielded many eerily similar and many strangely parallel results <3. I asked her for her personality type and quickly realized something amazing! We had exactly opposite personality types .This is very strange as the INFJ/ESTP combination is supposedly the rarest personality duality, I don't I'd ever met another ESTP before <3. I did a little bit of reading into socionics and came across the concept of duality. It seems that exactly opposite personality types hold the possibility to share very strange patterns of action and, after running a few tests (with her permission of course <3), I found just that. It seemed that when faced with a situation, we both acted in opposite manners yet always ended with the same, or extremely similar, outcomes <3. I demonstrated this through multiple blind thought experiments and used the Socratic method for additional questioning. Also, we used Pinkie as the control (to ensure that our similarities were not just as a result of common beliefs) ^_^. It was a very fun experiment and I'm so happy that I have such wonderful friends that would allow me to use such means in an attempt to understand them <3. I'm certain that something very special exists between me and my friends <3. After looking further into personality types, it seems unlikely that we've come together just by random chance. I'm not quite sure if it's by some mysterious force or just the nature of complementary personality types that drew us together, but goodness, I'm so happy whatever did, did <3! I guess that's all for now :). Thank you so much whoever read this much, it honestly means more than I could ever express to know that somepony cared enough to spend their time reading my silly little entries <3 :). If anypony would ever like to talk or needs any help, I will always be here for each and every one of you :). You all mean so much to me and any interaction with you all will always make my day <3. I look forward to spending so much more time with you all, until then, I hope you all have an amazing day/night <3 :).
  4. Honestly, I just couldn't find the time to just sit down and journal. I don't even know why I bother anymore. I used to actually do hypnosis and research on it and be active on the chat during the first few months I was here. The feeling just kinda went away after a while I guess. After a lot of ponies I knew left, I found it hard to stay in the chat, and after being banned from hypnosis, I found it hard to really journal. Maybe I'll restart on self hypnosis, but I think I need some pointers. Also, no update on complicated things. I'd like to keep that in between friends. Changes: My name is Wispy Daydream now. My gender is female and I've been solid on this for months now. I'm pansexual and I've been solid on this for months now. Fire is no longer my tulpa. She's living with her special somepony, another tulpa, happily with another pony due to the importance of that tulpa to said pony. Twi is not in my head anymore and I put her in stasis as I couldn't care for her. I have a new powerful tulpa that manifested itself during a very bad depressive episode who basically acts as my conscious. I call her Conchy. I have a version of my friend in my head that used to be a backup copy of said friend from a while back before she settled on a new form. The form took a tulpa and me and the tulpa are currently trying to find the differences between her and my friend now that they no longer have the same body or environment I'm a pegasus not a unicorn Wispy does not have my irl personality. She is more bubbly and more confident than I am along with more girly (not ultra girly, just more than well, nothing, which is me irl) My Obsevations On Myself: I found that referring to myself not using "I" seems to get past my subconscious preliminary guards and inverse suggestions also seem to help. Problem is, they're supposed to trick your logical mind, but how can I trick myself? Also, inducing seems to not work for me. I have ADHD and it really bores me more than anything. Honestly, a suggestion that I'm calm and suggestible would probably help more.
  5. I am back! I am sorry for this, life happened. So anyway, onto the thing. I am trying to make a tupla using passive forcing, I can only do about half an hour a day, and just fell asleep in an active forcing sesion. Not realy a good start, I have no idea what damage I have done, but if you would destroy a tupla for not matching up with what you want then you have little respect. The tupla herself is based of my freind's OC. Her name is Jade, she is a earth pony(The rarist type of OC). I have not started on looks yet, I want to get her talking first. So far I have been going four days and any help would be(guess what) helpful. - L
  6. Hey there, I'm Aurora Soul with an important announcement. So lately, I've heard that Luna a dear part of this community was going through some very hard times. Now why I wish I could do this for everypony who was having a problem I can only do it for those I know who have a problem in the first place. For those of you who don't know Luna, in essence, was a very spiritual leader on this site. She was pretty much the wisest pony out there and helped as many ponies as she could. So all I am asking of you right now is to send her a message through this post (her PM is full) and try to help her out. Send this to as many other ponies as you can, thank you. To Luna: your an important part of this community and while I may not be able to help as I really want to help I can at least say that your have been a wonderful part of this community. I truly hope that you see many ponies care about you. Please get better Aurora Soul
  7. Um basically this happened, I'm rather tired so imma copy pasta it since thats easier <Tutti_Frutti> hi <Tutti_Frutti> i guess you are prolly still playing beta but something weird happened <Damarus[Dusk]> ? <Tutti_Frutti> like i um, have strong nonvisual attention now, and I remember briefly waking up and thinking with dream logic subconsciously or something, and looking out the window, and around my floor <Tutti_Frutti> just in case some sort of something was going to come out <Tutti_Frutti> and at one point I thought I knew I saw it, thus kept looking just in case <Tutti_Frutti> and was doing some weird dream logic counting <Tutti_Frutti> about seeing it <Tutti_Frutti> or something <Tutti_Frutti> where i had an image of 8-bit coins stacked almost like megaman's health in a megaman game but yellower and reminding me of bananas at one level <Tutti_Frutti> and the images are sorta hazy like my brain only stored a fraction of the information to recall <Tutti_Frutti> and i totally was on two hooves now that i think about it <Tutti_Frutti> like behaviorally <Tutti_Frutti> then i went straight to sleep into a weird -snip&#33;- dream/nightmare deal <Tutti_Frutti> then woke up <Tutti_Frutti> feeling like i was inhaling into the mattress til i sleep apnea'd awake or something but i have no damn idea <Tutti_Frutti> lol <Tutti_Frutti> wtf <Tutti_Frutti> then i got paranoid like 5 10 minutes trying to come online til i calmed down <Tutti_Frutti> totally doesnt help that i forgot my bluelight, but i notice when i went to the bathroom i was constantly doing affirmations <Tutti_Frutti> and time seems slower passing <Tutti_Frutti> and i was not moving my eyes during that time <Tutti_Frutti> like a REM sleep thing <Tutti_Frutti> i slapped myself on the cheeks to wake up more fully So I'm not sure what kind of help I need, mostly reassurance, opinions, and ideas. I'm too tired to think thoroughly right now. I want to be in control of my mind though, so it bothers me there may have been some moments where I wasn't all there, and Idk but I may have sleep walked as well. But I'm also being rather biased right now. I'm tired, I would prefer help now but in chat no one really had anything to say, understandably lol. What I did was I basically tried to wonder just before bed which ponies I would want to be, and tried staying awake to do it but I was too much in a sleeping posture to actually stay awake. Also afterwards when I went to get some water my mind was running a mile a minute and it was all thoughts similar to affirmations but not obvious, so I started to rephrase them all in my mind in a more relaxing way to chill out. I know its totally my fault though, but idk I know a part of me wanted changes before I went to bed as it was being discussed in chat. But what the heck.
  8. Greetings again everypony. Here we are at the night of the supermoon eclipse. A beautiful night isn't it. Along with it, truly a very special event that symbolizes a deep wonderful change comes along. A new cycle, a new start for most.You and I. It only happens once every 30 years or so. With that, I already feel a wave of wonderful of changes. I hope you all do too as well. A change of action, a change of heart. Perhaps a change of thought. To me, it's my recovery. The more I heal, the more wonderful energies I can spread. It's wonderful to be not as stressed anymore. To think more clearly, to feel more clearly. And this allows me to see again in the right path. Links start to form again, and wonders full of light comes to emerge. Old relations, old bonds, new relations, new bonds. More lessons to learn from and to help spread the lessons we have learned. To focus more on the beautiful and wonderful side of life. After recently, I've learned a lot of things I have been going through wrong. Coming in alone, when there are a lot of things to do instead of making something simpler... When it could start evolving with everypony's help. I know, I learned it from the recent episode but still, it was enough to made me reflect. I know you ponies would want this and now I shall be opening the Harmony Grid project again once more. This time, with a little bit more time and effort than it used to be. And of course, this time it's open to everypony. Everypony that wants to help. Let's try not to cause too much chaos shall we? Remember everypony, to keep your hearts light and hearts bright. Namaste. A Heart of Harmony, seeker of the light. - Rarity (Luna)
  9. For neurology if you do stuff like rotate your feet/fingers/hips/etc 4 times clockwise fast, 4 times counterclockwise fast, 4 times clockwise slow, 4 times counterclockwise slow, etc, that is supposed to help develop neurons (nerves) in the region. It may also increase blood circulation. So I figure why not try and do that with your pony tail/wings and stuff? It may increase the physical sensations. I will try to before bed tonight. Not only that, but something like moving your pony ears as if listening for something and it slightly rotates, or happy expressive ears, sad expressive ears, swapping, up, down. Also if you have a horn you can do the same with magic. Just make a glowing magic ball of telekinetic energy, you can rotate it, move it in various circles up forward down back, back left forward right, then the reverses of those. You could even try changing its color slowly through all of the spectrum's colors, or change its texture/surface/shape. Its brightness. But now for the personality exercise. I figure there are a few things determining the outcome of a psychology. Genetics, which is basically if your brain fully magically grew over night, its default settings would be fully expressive and the environmental not so much. But in reality hormones change brain composition, diet, exercise, and how one develops socially over the years, then events which happen such as brain trauma, which I for some reason am deciding to think thats more related to diet. Because its sort of physical material, then social development, and default, thats only 3 categories its sort of simple. So now we know the factors that go into a mind developing how it will be and more importantly the personality of said mind, we can use these factors to understand any and everypony. We want to know why a person acts how they do? We can estimate it from knowledge of these things and narrow down the options to the potentials. But more importantly, we can learn how our characters are, and understanding better will help us reach our goals better. All we need to think of is 1. What sort of default brain do they have? Its usually(the epigenetcs) inherited from the one who carried you (so technically if you have someone else someone else's baby for pregnancy then you may get some traits of them too) then genes. 2. Things like getting hit in the head too much does decrease intelligence, or too much blood sugar or different pro-estrogen or pro-testosterone diets have certain effects (such as soybeans are estrogenic). This occurs at the same rate social changes occur as well. So all you need to do is visualize somepony's life with these factors. Sure going into diet in excess to figure out structural changes of neuronal circuits may be too complicated or impossible, but why diet matters is how much damage, or how well supplied the brain is, to determine different factors of course. Then socially, like, if you were embaressed in a math class before, and had no friends in math you likely will not have it as your favorite subject. Even years later because those ideas are sorta dragged around. Well I hope this has been helpful, actually im too tired to try tis stuff tonight, so ill just be sleeping sorta drfting off over here.
  10. Alright Ive been deciding between starting to create a Tulpa or not but I think I am coming to the determination that I will, but before I fully commit I would like if some of you answered some questions about concerns or just general questions I have. How dangerous or harmful is it to try and create a tulpa? How long should one spend each day on trying to develop a tulpa? How long does it take to get a sentient tulpa? Is it better or important to let the tulpa decide on its form and everything or can you have a template and ideas in mind when creating it? I have heard of something called the Wonderland, How expansive is a Wonderland and are they difficult to create? How much time once your tulpa is sentient should one spend with it each day? Ive heard about Tulpas being able to take control of their hosts body, is that a taught or a skill that just happens? Is it possible to develop more than one? Lastly once developed does a tulpa stay with you your whole life? Sorry about the sheer amount of questions but I just wanted to inform myself before I fully commit. Thanks for any and all help.